J. Mitchell Lane

Due to a few projects that I was working on, between Christmas and a week ago I was only able to get five hours or less of sleep a night. I can tell you that I wouldn’t recommend it for anyone. Actually, it wasn’t too bad until the last week and a half or so. During that time, I couldn’t focus on anything that I was doing (including trying to carry on a conversation). Finally, a week ago I was able to get a few projects off my plate, and I spent the entire President’s Day weekend sleeping and relaxing. I only left the house one time.

I set a new bedtime for myself for this week that ensures I get 9 hours of sleep, and for this entire week my energy level is so much higher, my brain has been able to focus, and I actually feel like I’m almost myself again. Now that I’m actually able to think, I’ve had a realization that you’d think I would have had a while ago. Being so worn out, it was next to impossible for me to do anything with the right focus and with the right heart for Christ. I was unable to put any kind of real effort into what I was doing because there was no energy to spare. Since I’ve started sleeping again, it is so much easier to do whatever I’m doing with energy and with the right focus.

I know a lot of people who say yes to every service opportunity that comes their way. I also know a lot of people who get burn out as much I was for the past month and a half. Sometimes we need to realize that there has to be a time to recharge and refocus ourselves (and time and energy to give to family). Throwing ourselves into everything that comes our way isn’t anywhere near as important as making sure that we can actually serve to the best of our ability and not half-heartedly. Would you rather be served by a million people who’s spirits are down, or by one person who can give you everything he has?

We have to be careful that we don’t use tiredness as an excuse to say consistently, “I have too much on my plate, and I can’t help with anything else,” but we also need to make sure that whatever it is we do commit to isn’t going to bury us, leave no energy for relationships with family and friends, and no energy to serve to the Glory of God.

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” - 1 Corinthians 10:31

If we are saying yes to everything just so we can be seen as a servant, or see ourselves as a servant, but we’re not able to do it cheerfully and to the Glory of God, we shouldn’t be doing it at all.

“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing out eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2

I was reading this tonight, and I was reminded about how easy it is for me to get caught up in the things that are preventing me from becoming more like Christ. Isn’t it easy for each of us to get stuck in our daily routines and forget about the race that God has set before us to run? Just about every day I forget about what I have in Christ, and I take the time that I have in that day that focus on how I’m not getting what I want. Or… if I’m not focusing on how I’m not getting what I want, I’m focusing on trying to find a way to elevate myself above God. Somehow what I want or need is more important than God’s plan in my mind, and in the rare moments that I realize I’m treating myself as greater than God, I make myself sick.

Reading this tonight reminded me that I need to keep myself focused on the race that God has set before me. I need to keep a fact solid in my mind: God is more important than I am. Christ is the reason I am here, and any trials or temptations I am going through, I am going through because it is to His glory. Every single day I forget that simple fact. How would we all live if we were constantly focused on that?

I am one selfish human being.

What is the first thing that we think each morning when we wake up? I know that it’s not ‘Great! Yay! It’s time to wake up again!’ When I was little, my brother and I used to wake up every morning before the sun came up. Don’t ask me why, but we would spend the next forty-five minutes or so shouting ‘Can I get up now?’ until finally my mom or dad said yes. We hated sleep so much that when morning came, we couldn’t wait to jump out of bed and start doing stuff. Things have changed. Now, I’m pretty content to sit there in bed doing nothing until I absolutely have to.

A typical morning for me includes hitting the snooze button eight or nine times, finally waking up about three minutes before I have to walk out the door, and then a thirty minute motorcycle ride to work. Instead of getting up insanely early now, I just do the opposite. I don’t go to sleep. It’s much easier to get work done when you’re already fully awake and you don’t have to spend three hours trying to think of something other than the warm bed (or cold floor) you just crawled out of (only some of you will catch that reference). I keep finding it extremely difficult to keep the right attitude when I have to do the exact same thing every single morning, day after day. Unfortunately, that’s just not how my brain works.

My brain works in project form. A different project every few weeks or months, and that keeps me entertained. But the problem is, that leads to me being extremely busy and a bit overwhelmed with all the projects that I’m doing, and unable to focus on any one of them. This then leads to five minutes on one project, ten on another, then back to the first one, etc, until my head almost explodes from thinking so many things at the same time. I have a feeling that also leads to my lack of ability to have a conversation without spending a great deal of energy making myself focus.

For example, in the last few months I’ve been working the good ‘ole full-time job, working heavily on FAULT (which includes editing, business plan, website), getting a separate home business off the ground, attempting to get more involved in Church, and started learning Greek. I am pretty much schizophrenic at this point.

The problem is, there are a lot of people that do exactly the same thing I do. They build up so many projects to keep from getting bored that they end up losing focus on the end goal. Next, they forget completely what that end goal is. What should our end goal be? The fact is that God created everything… all of it! From the ant that bit me this morning to the coffee I drank, all the way to me. And He created all of it for a specific purpose. It was all created by Him and for Him for His purpose and His glory. We are all caught up in that (Hebrews 1:9, 2 Timothy 1:9, 1 Peter 4:11). I forget that truth pretty consistently. I forget that everything I do should be done with the intention of glorifying God (1 Corinthians 10:31). After all, if everything was created by Him, for Him, and for His purpose, then what else is there to live for. What other reason do we have to do anything?

The answer is nothing. If we’re going to live Godly lives, we should have a heart to do everything for His glory. Anything that we do for some other reason is both selfish and sinful. When everything is created for His purpose, and we take something and use it for our own purpose, we’re basically saying, “I am more important than God, so I’m going to do this one for me… after all, I deserve it, don’t I?” The truth is that we are utterly sinful and we deserve absolutely nothing! (Romans 3:10 and 6:23) When I really think about that, I realize how many areas of my life are completely absent of that intention. Why did I start all these projects after all?

Did I start the projects because I was trying to Glorify God through them, or did I start them because I was bored and needed something else to do? Did I begin them because I wanted to point people to Christ, or did I begin them because I wanted to point people to myself? Do I press the snooze button for God’s glory or mine? Why do I drink coffee? Why do I have a bad attitude when I get to work? Why do I even go to work? Am I even being a light for Christ there?

Truth be told, most everything I do is for my own glory which is completely opposite of what I should be doing. I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to fix that misplaced focus.

“For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever.” (Romans 11:36)